Trangender Issues: Coming Out to Family - 5 Days Later

Well it’s been 5 days since I came out to my sister and I’ve been a roller coaster of emotions. I pretty much came to the conclusion that she was overly freaked out with it, and that’s why the only response was the blank text. Even though I wished that I could finally be a sister to my sister, I pretty much gave up on that. I keep having random moments of anxiety where I’m reminded of all of the things that I blurted out and then ask myself "Why did I say that"?

Aside from that, my world has totally changed. I’m finally allowing myself to drop the “tom-boy” mentality in public… where I had to try to "think like a boy". By just finally coming out, whether I was accepted or not, it freed me of the anxiety of "What if they think I’m gay?" and "What if they know someone in my family and it gets back to them?"… It just doesn’t seem to mater to me as much anymore.

I’ve also been motivated to push through my confused states and moments of depression to accomplish what needs to be done (something that has been difficult for me to do lately).

After writing the previous… I went to the mailbox to find that I received a package from my sister. She sent me a very sweet inspirational card and a frame to put it in. Although obviously to make me feel better about what we had talked about, the note, card and follow up text message didn’t mention anything about me being transgender specifically... so as much as I’m trying to deal with it, I’m assuming she probably is too. 

By sending me that gift, I know now that she wasn’t so freaked out that she totally is walking away from me as a family member (something that some others in my family would have done). Although it seems that she’s not ready yet to really accept me as a sister yet, hopefully in time, that will change. I've always dreamed of having a sister to do sister things with!

As for now, I’m just really glad that she did something that thoughtful to show that she still cares… and really glad about being able to blossom as I have over the past few days.