Trangender Issues: Coming Out to Family - 2 Days Later

Well it's been 2 days since I admitted to anyone in my close inner circle that I'm transgender... and it's been 2 days of... "Holy Crap! Did I really do that?"... "So I guess I really just did that!"... "Why did I wait so long?"... "Should I tell more people?"... "Should I show her my blog or Flickr feeds?"

That being said, she was going to check back with me and didn't... Even though I know she's overly busy and working late this week, I just blurted out 50 years of repressed feelings to her... crying my eyes out... and, where I haven't heard from her since Sunday, I guess that I may freaked her out too much... But if it were me... and if someone that I loved called me up crying... saying that they lost their job, was transgender, and everything else that I blurted out... I wouldn't have been able to wait 2 days to call them back to see how they are doing... and/or if they were still alive at that point...

I'm starting to be reminded of how many of us DON'T have a support network that will accept us for who we are... and... WOW! It's sinking in that she is actually avoiding calling me back... I'll take the high road and apologize for freaking her out...

So I'll send her a text... apologizing... saying that I don't regret coming out to her after 50 years of holding it in... but I also realize that it may be to much for her to hear and if she doesn't want to talk about it I'll understand...

I just received a blank text as a response... I didn't know it was possible to send a blank text... Apparently, if you just pull up the text and hit send without writing anything, that's what happens... I guess it's supposed to mean you have nothing to say... I'm guessing that she's not embracing the fact that she has a new sister... So I guess that just happened...

Well... even though I'm in tears right now... it was kind of like buying a lottery ticket... For 2 days... I was imagining that maybe my life would be changed a bit for the better...

Now that reality has hit me hard again... I know... more than ever... It's time to move on... Even if she calls me back at some point... I know that she's really not cool with it. Was her reaction on Sunday was just the plastic face that everyone in my family puts on before they avoid and ridicule you? I hope not.

Oh well... At least I finally came out and tried to stay in the family... Now I can move on... It really hurts... but it drives me even more to find somewhere else... far away from my past... somewhere where I hopefully can be happy.

Please don't let this discourage you. Some families are actually understanding than mine. I don't regret coming out... It's something that I should have done years ago... and I'm glad that I finally told someone in my family that I am transgender.