Getting to Know a Transgender on the Internet

If you want to get to know a transgender on the internet, please treat us with a bit of respect. We are not whores trying to get laid. Most of us are just here trying to find a few new friends whom we have something in common with and who will accept us for who we really are.

Also keep in mind that there are a few things that REALLY shock us (that's my attempt at a shocked face to the right), disgust us, tick us off and/or will get you blocked from major websites:

1. We are NOT interested in seeing a profile and/or photo-stream with a blurred face and  your penis. Please realize that this is also a turn-off for most hetero and non-transgender people as well.
2. If you "follow" us on Flickr but when we check out YOUR page, it says: "(Username) doesn't have anything available to you". VERY CREEPY
3. If  your photo-stream is all OTHER people's pictures... Again... VERY CREEPY!
4. If your photo-stream is all YOUR face Photoshop-ed onto OTHER PEOPLE'S bodies (a lot of us may Photoshop ourselves onto other people... but you should NOT upload them to Flickr and other sites pretending that it's you... be yourself and embrace who you are).
5. If I/we make it VERY CLEAR that we are NOT interested in hooking up with guys but are always being emailed and messaged by very persistent guys looking to hook up anyways. READ THE PROFILES BEFORE YOU SEND THE EMAIL.
6. You send us a nice comment, but then we notice the same EXACT SAME comment from you on dozens of other people's pages. Once Again... VERY CREEPY!

Long story short... Unless it's stated in our profiles that we want to be treated like a whore, please show us the same respect that YOU would expect from anyone else who just met you.

  

Accepting Yourself as Transgender

I felt so good... and so pretty... ALL DAY today.

I embraced the being I am becoming... the good points as well as my flaws (yes, I am now embrace my flaws as well).

With each baby step I take on my journey... with each little victory... my self esteem and self-confidence in who I really am seems to grow. 

Allow yourself to be yourself. Accept yourself for who you are... flaws and all.

Eventually happiness... and piece of mind... will follow.

Update on the Update on the Update of "Coming Out as a Transgender"

Returning from a Superbowl party... Testosterone central...

The guys made a few obscure comments that made no sense, laughed to each other, then everyone looked over at me. As the comments made no sense, it was obvious that they were related to private jokes. I was a bit bothered... not by the jokes (which I didn't get)... but by the fact that I thought I was just being paranoid.

After a few more obscure, bizarre comments, I knew for sure that they have been... and were still... joking about me, my new-found feminine look (not the case but new to them) and what they assume to be my sexual preferences.

Believe it or not, instead of being upset, I felt another large weight being lifted off my shoulders. I assessed WHO were making the jokes (the most homophobic guys there) and WHY they felt like they HAD TO rehash their private jokes amongst themselves in my presence. I couldn't help but laugh at that point!

I leaned back... feeling totally free to drop my faked testosterone banter and just be the girl that I really am. I was elated to just be myself and from that point on, really enjoyed the rest of the game

I must also admit that I loved seeing my pre-game prediction come to fruition (sorry Denver fans, but I'm not a Manning fan and KNEW he'd choke against such a good defensive team that played with so much heart).

Update on the Update of "Coming Out as a Transgender"

Um yeah...
I'm now convinced that over-tweezing thing gave it away... Nothing was said directly but EVERYONE has been acting totally different towards me lately.

All of the women I know (even family members) have been VERY cool, and have even been making me feel like one of the girls. It's such and amazing and freeing feeling.

The guys... well... nothing has been said but... the guys in my family now have that stupid smirk on their face when they talk to me. You know the one. The smirk that tells you that, the second I walk out the door, they are ALL going to be joking about how their brother is now becoming their sister. 

I thought that I would be hurt by being the brunt of their private jokes, but, although the smirks make me uncomfortable, the thought of them joking about me behind my back is now a welcoming thought. 

OK... Let me break that one down...  I welcome it because I now feel free to be myself, make a GRADUAL transition into womanhood without having to "come out" and no longer need to feel paranoid about the ramifications of how my feminine changes will effect my life... 

I'm so much happier and relaxed now that I can drop the macho crap and just be one of the girls.

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Side note: When you tweeze or wax, it comes back. It's not that obvious when you are freshly tweezed, but when the little nubs start popping back to the surface, it's pretty obvious that you "manscape".

Going out in Drag -- Growth from Ignorance

As I’m transgender, I don’t consider going out in “Full Girlie Mode” to be drag. It’s just going out as who I really am. That being said, if you read the first post, you probably can figure out that my neighbors, friends and relatives would consider a genetic male dressed up as a woman to be something to joke about… so I rarely do it.

Last Friday, when I got home from work, I put on my make-up and dressed up in a really cute dress. When I looked in the mirror I really liked the way I looked! “Screw it! I’m going to that Transgender Night that I saw advertised online!”

The bar was inside Peabody Marriott. I eventually found the hotel, arriving around 11 PM. There was no signage for a bar and the parking lot was somewhat empty. It was advertised as being from 8:30 PM to 2 AM, so the event had to be going on somewhere inside the building!

I walked around the building in vane, trying to find the entrance for the bar. There was none that I could find. I didn’t want to go into the lobby as there were guests checking in, so I wound up calling the hotel (asking for the bar) from my cell phone.

I was told, “We close the bar early on nights where it’s dead”. REALLY? You advertise a specific event at specific times, and people are driving 30 to 50 miles out of their way to get there…

The man on the other end of the line offered no apologies and no legitimate explanations. What should have been a wonderful evening was destroyed… not by the fact that the bar closed early, but by the lack of professionalism and/or compassion by whoever answered the phone inside the bar.

Their loss. I was going stay at the Peabody Marriott in 2 weeks for the First Night event, but out of principle, I refuse to spend any of my money in that hotel!

The one good thing that came from that night was that I finally got the nerve to leave my house dressed-up exactly as I wanted to… without it being for a Halloween party and without caring about the neighbor’s reactions… and have every day since.

Update on "Coming out as Transgender"

Well I may have stepped up the transformation a bit too quick… I went a bit overboard with the tweezing, to the point that my brother’s wife and some others made it known to me that they noticed the change… (Nothing mean).

I’m not sure if they are making homophobic jokes behind my back but I really don’t care at this point. I absolutely LOVE seeing the new me in the mirror and that’s all that matters!

If you compare the Flickr pictures (http://www.flickr.com/photos/deedeeburke), you can see the difference. I thought it was subtle, but I guess not subtle enough.