Going out in Drag -- Growth from Ignorance

As I’m transgender, I don’t consider going out in “Full Girlie Mode” to be drag. It’s just going out as who I really am. That being said, if you read the first post, you probably can figure out that my neighbors, friends and relatives would consider a genetic male dressed up as a woman to be something to joke about… so I rarely do it.

Last Friday, when I got home from work, I put on my make-up and dressed up in a really cute dress. When I looked in the mirror I really liked the way I looked! “Screw it! I’m going to that Transgender Night that I saw advertised online!”

The bar was inside Peabody Marriott. I eventually found the hotel, arriving around 11 PM. There was no signage for a bar and the parking lot was somewhat empty. It was advertised as being from 8:30 PM to 2 AM, so the event had to be going on somewhere inside the building!

I walked around the building in vane, trying to find the entrance for the bar. There was none that I could find. I didn’t want to go into the lobby as there were guests checking in, so I wound up calling the hotel (asking for the bar) from my cell phone.

I was told, “We close the bar early on nights where it’s dead”. REALLY? You advertise a specific event at specific times, and people are driving 30 to 50 miles out of their way to get there…

The man on the other end of the line offered no apologies and no legitimate explanations. What should have been a wonderful evening was destroyed… not by the fact that the bar closed early, but by the lack of professionalism and/or compassion by whoever answered the phone inside the bar.

Their loss. I was going stay at the Peabody Marriott in 2 weeks for the First Night event, but out of principle, I refuse to spend any of my money in that hotel!

The one good thing that came from that night was that I finally got the nerve to leave my house dressed-up exactly as I wanted to… without it being for a Halloween party and without caring about the neighbor’s reactions… and have every day since.

Update on "Coming out as Transgender"

Well I may have stepped up the transformation a bit too quick… I went a bit overboard with the tweezing, to the point that my brother’s wife and some others made it known to me that they noticed the change… (Nothing mean).

I’m not sure if they are making homophobic jokes behind my back but I really don’t care at this point. I absolutely LOVE seeing the new me in the mirror and that’s all that matters!

If you compare the Flickr pictures (http://www.flickr.com/photos/deedeeburke), you can see the difference. I thought it was subtle, but I guess not subtle enough.

Coming Out as Transgender - Good Advice for Some

I recently read a post from another transgender who was giving advice on how she came out to her family, friends and co-workers.

She stated that she did not just suddenly tell everyone. Instead, she decided to SLOWLY feminize her appearance and demeanor. This allowed her to gain her self-confidence and increasingly be herself around them... while also allowing them time to adapt to the changes. By the time she did have “the talk” with all of them, they were much more accepting then she ever thought they would be.

I’ve decided to also take this route and have been doing a bit more tweezing lately… a bit more of the hair removal… and wearing outfits that are a bit more feminine.

Little by little I’m transforming before their eyes, but it’s so subtle that they are not shocked by each new change and I haven’t gotten any dirty looks and/or comments either.

Knowing my current circle, I will probably get some negative comments at some point... but by then, my confidence in "being womanly" will be high enough that it won't bother me as much.

 

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The Bright Side of Darkness

I used to dread this time of the year… The days are dreary, the weather is WAY too cold, and it’s dark before I get out of work… but now I now actually look forward to late autumn.

When I got home from work tonight, I changed into a very cute and very feminine outfit (which also included high heeled boots). Soon after, I took my dog out for a long walk. As we walked along the dark, empty streets, I felt so relaxed… and so free… Not once thinking, “What will the neighbors say”? I was just a very self-confident lady walking her dog.

Although I felt very pretty in the outfit, that’s not what made me feel so happy and free. I’ve been wearing female clothing 24/7 for years now, but I usually don’t wear anything in public that’s OVERLY feminine. Tonight though, instead of changing back into less feminine clothing, I kept the cute outfit on and allowed myself to be myself… without ANY paranoia or worries. I guess the fact that it was a very dark night had a lot to do with that.

I’m taking steps to get to the point where I can go out any time of the year without feeling self-conscious… but until then, I’ll gladly welcome how light-hearted the New England darkness can make me feel. 

  

Transgender Makeovers

If you're a bit self-cautious like I am , you probably only buy make-up during the few times of the year when guys can buy make-up without feeling like everyone in the store is looking at you like a you're a weirdo (before Halloween, Christmas or Valentines day).

If so, I recommend doing a virtual make-over online (Google "virtual makeover") then go buy some new make-up online from drugstore.com. You don't have to worry about raised eyebrows and the prices are lower than my local drugstore. They have great prices on EVERYTHING there (not just make-up).

I just got some new make-up delivered today!

Why Transgenders should NOT take advice from Non-Transgender friends...

Chillin at home… in full girlie mode… after a long day of work!

It’s times like these that make my “second job” somewhat tolerable (knowing I’ll be home soon and can unwind Ala-fem).

It’s too bad I didn’t know several years ago, what I know today… before I moved here.

I’m longing for days gone by… when I used to work from home and could be myself 24/7…

Back then; my WORST DAY was MUCH BETTER than what my BEST DAY is now.

The moral of the story is: If your heart tells you that the “advice” you are getting is NOT in your best interest, follow your heart instead.

Your inner voice will always lead you down the path that is truly right for you.