Trangenders Coming Out

Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving weekend!

This is my naive turkey collage from https://www.flickr.com/photos/deedeeburke.

As you may know from reading the blog, I am still hesitant to wear dresses and/or full makeup in front of most people... especially clients and/or homophobic neighbors.

Yesterday, "unavoidable situations" forced me to speak with a client while I still had make-up on... and later I bumped into a few neighbors while I was wearing a cute sweater dress. 

A few months ago, (with me being me and overthinking everything) I would have been SO paranoid and/or devastated about the potential outcome... but surprisingly... it was no big deal. Their reactions weren't too bad... and I honestly didn't care much about it afterwards. 

It happened... Oh well... Nothing I can do to change it... And for what it's worth, that's a few less people I don't have to come out to.

Self-confidence is SO freeing!

Be You...   Be Happy...   

Dee

Transgender Goals and Gifts

Huge step for me!

My mom called me up to ask what I wanted for Christmas... I told her that I could really use some new work clothes... then she asked me what size I was...

I old her that I'm a women's size XS, size 4 or Junior's size 3... those are the sizes that fit me PERFECTLY!

She faked surprise (those who follow the post may remember that she once caught me sneaking in to "borrow" her clothes and was horrified).

I reminded her that she used to buy girl's sizes when I was younger and she was all-of-a-sudden cool with it!

Let's go back: Supposedly she bought the girl sizes because she couldn't find the "boys sizes"... but truth be known... she always really wanted another daughter to dress up and make pretty... (something she did admit to me once).

Let's go back a bit more: When I was very young, she sensed that I thought I was a girl and knew that I loved girlie things... so she happily let me dress in girlie outfits and even wear her wigs... until my homophobic farther put an end to that. He exploded his towards her and "forced me to be a man". After that, she was was afraid to think of me as anything but a boy... thus the problems with me "coming out" to her. (Nonetheless, she did occasionally buy girlie things for me... which made us both very happy).

Coming back to present day:  My farther passed away this year... Between that and my new-found bravery... I thought it was time that Mom and I both come to grips with the fact that she does have another daughter! And yes... I do like to dress up and and feel pretty!

Win number 1: She now knows (for certain) that really only want and only wear girlie clothes!

Win number 2: I might finally get a presents that I actually like! 

My goal was duo-fold: Coming out to her (a bit more) and hopefully getting some really pretty outfits! 

My mom is the queen of shopping and has so many pretty and elegant outfits! I'd love it if she allowed herself to accept me as her "other daughter" again...  buying me pretty outfits... giving me her hand-me-downs (like she does with my sister)... and maybe even buying me some extremely fem stuff too! 

Screw getting socks and sweaters for Christmas! I want to start getting panties instead of socks and tunics instead of sweaters!

Once that happens... I'll break down in tears of happiness... finally knowing that she really does love me as I am.

Will it happen? I don't know... But Kudos to me for putting it out there (along with my true self) for her to digest. I've overcome my fears... it's time for her to overcome hers.

Side note: The pics to the right are me from a few days ago... adding to the +1's! The middle pic is me being brave enough to go out in the yard in a dress (Yes... I wore a dress outside again) with full make-up! The top and bottom pics were just prior to taking my dog out... again in full make-up... in full sight of my homophobic neighbors! The +1 boldness has led to huge steps my transition and has helped me to tell Mom what a girl really wants for Christmas!

Be you. Be Happy.

Dee

Transgender Goals - Plus 1 - Getting Braver

Plus 1 is really working well! I have to admit that I haven't stuck to it every day, but on the days I do, I've been so much braver!

I have lightened my hair and gone out in public (very fem with full makeup) almost every evening (much earlier than before). I was even brave enough to go out in full a-la-fem during the afternoon!

Granted it's only around my yard and neighborhood, but considering how homophobic my neighbors are... these are huge steps for me and are greatly aiding in building up my self-confidence.

My current goal is to be so self-confident, that I'll be able to go out full a-la-fem to a very public place -- a club, shopping, whatever -- before the end of the winter... without being paranoid! I'm almost there!

The next goal (after that ) is to become confident enough... that I won't ever feel paranoid about being the real me in public again. Wearing whatever... whenever... and where-ever... I want!

Sure I'll still get grief... but if I once I get to that point, the opinions of the homo-phoebes will be totally laughed off! I'm almost there with that too... considering that I no longer care about how much I've lost to become who I want to be -- who I need to be -- and knowing that what matters to me is remaining proud of who I am and following my goals.

Be You...
Be Brave...