Transgender Transition Issues

I recently saw a TV special on CNN called "What Would You Do" in which a transgender waitress was being harassed and patrons came to her rescue. Kudos to those who spoke up and Kudos to CNN for aiding in the awareness that we transgenders are real people with real feelings.

That being said, please do not assume by seeing the recent influx of "Ho-ray for the transgenders" broadcasting that everything has changed and the road ahead is going to be easy... There is a very high suicide rate amongst transgenders who can't cope with the comments, isolation and ridicule that inevitably comes from the ignorant and the homophobes.

Yes, you will meet many more accepting strangers these days who will say, "Que Sera Sera", but unfortunately, there are still a lot of homophobes who will want to hurt you because they are... and always will be who THEY are. Whether it be physically or mentally, they still exist... and quite often, they are the ones closest to you.

My advice? Think not only of what you want, but also IF YOU CAN HANDLE what you don't want, before you start the transition.

Dealing with mental abuse:

You need to be thick-skinned by nature (not letting anything bother you) or at least have the right mindset. I have been told several times before that I take everything FAR too personally (which I do... negative comments and actions hurt me VERY deeply), but through a slower transition, I have found that I really care more about becoming my true self than I care about what other people say or think. This mindset has cost me several long-term friendships and alienated me from close family members. I'm OK with this because if those people didn't want to TRY to understand me, then they really shouldn't be in my life anyways.

If you can neither ignore hurtful words and actions or bear the thought of walking away from those who were closest to you... then trust me... transition is probably NOT the right thing for you.

Dealing with physical abuse:

Unfortunately there are still a lot of homophobes that will probably want to get into a physical fight with you (or worse) because of their own fears. If you can not handle yourself in those situations, you should also take martial arts training. I personally recommend Aikido (Steven Seagal's choice as well... which teaches using the opponent's energy against himself) or Kempo.

Don't let this scare you too much. These morons are usually drunk when then attempt to hurt you, so if you know a few good moves, you should be OK in most situations (I once got jumped by 5 guys at the same time... but, even though I'm only 5'7", I went home without a scratch).

Bottom line:

Unless you feel that the happiness that reflecting your true inner-self externally will bring will be greater than the pain involved, and you have the right mindset, you may want to hold off on transitioning.

As for me, I'm proud of who I am, glad to be the lady I am externally evolving into, and will take each new obstacle in stride...

D

Transgender Steps to Going Out

Transgender transformation is a long process of baby steps.

Although I always dress in female clothing, I've still been hesitant to go out in public in full girlie mode (dresses, skirts, make-up, etc...), so my goal for the summer was to do that. It really bothered me that I wasn't able to enjoy time in my own yard as I pleased because I have a less-than-private-yard in a somewhat conservative/homophobic area... so I took baby steps to build up my confidence and then finally went for it..

The first step was sitting on the porch, which is sort of private. After doing that several times, I worked up the courage to go into the back yard in secluded locations. By August, I was allowing myself to go into the less private areas of my back yard (where I ussually sit when I'm out in the yard).

I was so relaxing and freeing to FINALLY be wearing dresses and skirts as I stared at the clouds! I took the pictures to the right after coming in on two of those wonderful nights.

Transgenders - How to Cover Five O'clock Shadow

I've tried a lot of tips to "tone down" facial hairs in photos. What I found to work best for me is:

1. Shave closely prior to applying any makeup.
2. If you are planning on having the makeup on for an extended period of time, there are several products like Hydrochloride Cream that will slow any "five o'clock shadow".
3. Apply a liquid foundation (I prefer Almay Smart Shade... it blends with your natural skin tone very well).
4. Dab concealer over the areas where facial hair grows then blend it INTO the foundation.
5. This of course will leave those areas more pale then your other made-over areas... so simply apply a bit of blush to the "concealer enhanced area" until it matches the rest of your makeup.
6. Top it all off with a powder foundation to set it all together and minimize oily areas.
7. Add the remainder of your makeup.

Transgenders Showing Photos to Friends

As my make-overs and pictures get better, I've been tempted to show them off to current friends or family... I've posted them here and on Flickr... so why am I still so hesitant to get feedback from those closest to me?

If you asked me that a year ago, I would have said that it's because most of them are still ignorant to what a transgender is and a lot of them are homophobic as well...

Also, although I love my friends and family, I do not like the way they sometimes categorize people and make degrading comments out of ignorance and/or fear of the unknown.

Even if they fain support, I'd be the object of ridicule once I left and slowly be "phased out" of gatherings with family and friends.

At this point, none of that matters to me. I love who I am and if they can't accept me as I am, it's their loss... but considering how difficult everything else is right now in my life, I just don't need the added drama that showing my photos to them would bring.

A Transgender Test - Differences Between Transvestites and Transgenders

While most transvestites can dress up and then go right back to male mode, most transgenders find that very hard... even painful at times. It's not about wearing the girl clothes for us... it's about allowing ourselves to be who we are and allowing ourselves to be feminine.

I can't remember the last time that I was able to go to sleep at night without wearing something that was feminine. Even if I have to still fake the guy role at times during the day... from the moment I get home, til the moment I have to go back into "tom-boy mode", I need to allow myself to be who I really am. 

The other reason for my sleep-time "addiction" is... When you go to bed feeling pretty... You wake up feeling pretty...

Side note: Although I own  hundreds of feminine outfits and dozens of sexier nighties, I posted these because they are a few of my favorites to sleep in. 

Again... it's not about the clothes... it's about feeling feminine.

   

Transgender Bodies: Transforming Your Look

Beauty and the Beast

 

The beast is in our minds...

I hate my chin, knees, skinny ankles and "puppy paws"... but the more I learn to accept my faults and body flaws... the easier it becomes for me to allow the inner beauty to shine through...