Transgender Jealousy at Work

Many transgenders and transvestites work with a female or two who they are a bit jealous of... because they ALWAYS wear the prettiest clothes to work... EVERY DAY.

Today I put on my pantyhose, a pair of grey, polyester, junior's slacks and a soft, black, acrylic sweater... and headed off to job #2... (Yes... the job where I have to work with the overly-conservative homophobes). The outfit felt SO GOOD on my recently laser-ed skin and I felt SO PRETTY as I walked through the building! (And yes again for those who saw the November 16th post... I DID start the laser hair removal!)

Then, the most AMAZING thing happened. I saw one the girls whom I'm always jealous of. She was actually wearing an outfit that was almost identical to mine! (Same fabrics, cut, styling, and colors... although her outfit was a bit more feminine and she was also lucky enough to be able to wear a cute pair of pumps with hers.)

But it gets even better! I almost flipped out on my lunch break when I saw her wearing her jacket... a cute, black, diagonally-quilted, puffer jacket... almost exactly like the one I was wearing!

Some girls are embarrassed when this happens. You know, the old "wearing the same outfit" thing. NOT ME! I was flattered and even felt "a bit more girlie" when I realized how cute we BOTH looked! It was such an incredible feeling to know that I was able to wear the same outfit as she did today!

The fact the she looked SO BEAUTIFUL today was the icing on the cake. I now know that if I WAS allowed to wear my make-up and a pair of pumps to work, I'd probably look even prettier than her... one of the ladies that I've been jealous of for so long!

I'm not being vain, I'm just (as I'm writing this) comparing pictures, where we both have makeup on... and I think I'm a bit prettier than she is when I'm in "full en-fem mode". 

Side note: I ALWAYS feel so much more feminine when I'm wearing Leggs Sheer Energy Pantyhose under my slacks! If you haven't tried them, I HIGHLY suggest you do!

Hugs and Sweet Dreams,
Dee

    

Transgender Transition Tipping-point

Ooops!

If you've been reading the blog, you probably saw the comments that I made back in January about how a bit of over-tweezing led to people acting differently around me (but not vocalizing anything). Apparently... I tweezed a bit more than before (over the weekend) and found the point where people WILL vocalize.

Personally, I don't think there is a major difference between January and now (see the pic to the right -- OK... They ARE a bit thinner but... ).

Monday, a female co-worker said something about me looking different. I tried to pass it off as just being clean-shaven, but then she began staring at my eyebrows and made the comment, "I wouldn't say that to other people". Was she thinking that I meant I shaved my eyebrows?

She went on to imply that our conservative Boston area clients would think of me as a freak. She couldn't have been more wrong. Our clients didn't look at me any differently. They all still came to talk to me warmly and with respect. Considering the fact that I go above and beyond what most of my co-workers do for them, even if I was I wearing a dress... it wouldn't matter to them. They'd still respect me for who I really am.

Tuesday, I went to the bathroom, making myself 4 minutes late for a departmental meeting. When arrived and sat down with 3 other female co-workers, one turned to me and said, "We were wondering what was taking you so long in the bathroom... We thought you may have been shaving or tweezing something!" Yeah pretty blatant comment... and then they all smirked and laughed.

I didn't let it phase me... I just laughed along with them... or was I just laughing AT them? After all, I was brave enough to push across a line that I was previously fearful of crossing -- to show my true feminine self in such a conservative position -- so considering that the clients are cool with it and the only repercussions were a bit of snickering from shallow people who have no idea what a transgender is (they probably just think I'm gay now but I don't really care about that either), as long as I'm free to be me, I'm OK with everything else.

D

Transgender Transition - Pressing Issues?

OK... This is kind of weird...

I've accepted the looks and comments (and stood up for myself and others when those comments were cruel)... but... what do you do when another female just randomly presses your body parts to see "what's going on"?

I still need to fake the guy role at times, but as my looks, breasts and bum are obviously becoming more feminine, it is creating a strange curiosity for some. A female co-worker recently walked by me at work and grabbed my breast, then kept on walking (without saying a word). Several days later, the same woman began pressing my bum... not in a groping way (unfortunately), but more of a "is this real" type of way.

If my transition is becoming that much of a curiosity, then why not ask me if... I don't know... I guess it would have been more weird if she randomly asked, "So why are your boobs getting so perky?".

I'm not offended at all. In fact, it's encouraged me to push forward with more transitioning, including laser hair removal. Androgyny is more tolerated than hairy guys with breasts and getting rid of the unwanted hair would do wonders for my own piece of mind as well.

I took the pics to the right this morning -- with no make-up, bra or padding -- to see if my boobs -- or I -- look like an oddity.

Oddity or not... I like the way I look!

Transgender Transition Issues

I recently saw a TV special on CNN called "What Would You Do" in which a transgender waitress was being harassed and patrons came to her rescue. Kudos to those who spoke up and Kudos to CNN for aiding in the awareness that we transgenders are real people with real feelings.

That being said, please do not assume by seeing the recent influx of "Ho-ray for the transgenders" broadcasting that everything has changed and the road ahead is going to be easy... There is a very high suicide rate amongst transgenders who can't cope with the comments, isolation and ridicule that inevitably comes from the ignorant and the homophobes.

Yes, you will meet many more accepting strangers these days who will say, "Que Sera Sera", but unfortunately, there are still a lot of homophobes who will want to hurt you because they are... and always will be who THEY are. Whether it be physically or mentally, they still exist... and quite often, they are the ones closest to you.

My advice? Think not only of what you want, but also IF YOU CAN HANDLE what you don't want, before you start the transition.

Dealing with mental abuse:

You need to be thick-skinned by nature (not letting anything bother you) or at least have the right mindset. I have been told several times before that I take everything FAR too personally (which I do... negative comments and actions hurt me VERY deeply), but through a slower transition, I have found that I really care more about becoming my true self than I care about what other people say or think. This mindset has cost me several long-term friendships and alienated me from close family members. I'm OK with this because if those people didn't want to TRY to understand me, then they really shouldn't be in my life anyways.

If you can neither ignore hurtful words and actions or bear the thought of walking away from those who were closest to you... then trust me... transition is probably NOT the right thing for you.

Dealing with physical abuse:

Unfortunately there are still a lot of homophobes that will probably want to get into a physical fight with you (or worse) because of their own fears. If you can not handle yourself in those situations, you should also take martial arts training. I personally recommend Aikido (Steven Seagal's choice as well... which teaches using the opponent's energy against himself) or Kempo.

Don't let this scare you too much. These morons are usually drunk when then attempt to hurt you, so if you know a few good moves, you should be OK in most situations (I once got jumped by 5 guys at the same time... but, even though I'm only 5'7", I went home without a scratch).

Bottom line:

Unless you feel that the happiness that reflecting your true inner-self externally will bring will be greater than the pain involved, and you have the right mindset, you may want to hold off on transitioning.

As for me, I'm proud of who I am, glad to be the lady I am externally evolving into, and will take each new obstacle in stride...

D

Transgender Steps to Going Out

Transgender transformation is a long process of baby steps.

Although I always dress in female clothing, I've still been hesitant to go out in public in full girlie mode (dresses, skirts, make-up, etc...), so my goal for the summer was to do that. It really bothered me that I wasn't able to enjoy time in my own yard as I pleased because I have a less-than-private-yard in a somewhat conservative/homophobic area... so I took baby steps to build up my confidence and then finally went for it..

The first step was sitting on the porch, which is sort of private. After doing that several times, I worked up the courage to go into the back yard in secluded locations. By August, I was allowing myself to go into the less private areas of my back yard (where I ussually sit when I'm out in the yard).

I was so relaxing and freeing to FINALLY be wearing dresses and skirts as I stared at the clouds! I took the pictures to the right after coming in on two of those wonderful nights.

Transgenders - How to Cover Five O'clock Shadow

I've tried a lot of tips to "tone down" facial hairs in photos. What I found to work best for me is:

1. Shave closely prior to applying any makeup.
2. If you are planning on having the makeup on for an extended period of time, there are several products like Hydrochloride Cream that will slow any "five o'clock shadow".
3. Apply a liquid foundation (I prefer Almay Smart Shade... it blends with your natural skin tone very well).
4. Dab concealer over the areas where facial hair grows then blend it INTO the foundation.
5. This of course will leave those areas more pale then your other made-over areas... so simply apply a bit of blush to the "concealer enhanced area" until it matches the rest of your makeup.
6. Top it all off with a powder foundation to set it all together and minimize oily areas.
7. Add the remainder of your makeup.